Lesson Three
Black Zombies: Attitude Is Everything
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. - William James There are no broken dreams, only broken spirits. - Matt Luders A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. - David Brinkley
Dear Eternal Optimists:
I recently traveled back to St. Louis and witnessed my first Cardinals baseball game in nearly 10 years. Although they lost 8-1, it was good to see the old team live at Busch Stadium. Perhaps the best part of the trip involved going through my old neighborhood again: the Walnut Park Area. We, St. Louisians, know this section of town has evolved into a do-or-die area because of the struggle and peril that many African-American youth face while growing up here. It is truly a case study of the survival of the fittest, nature at its rawest. I hadn't been back to this area since my brother died in 1996 because I still harbored lots of ill will that someone callously murdered him in the very neighborhood we once affectionately called home.
Despite attempts to revitalize St. Louis, the Walnut Park area has virtually remained in a state of decay. It was, however, nice conversing with some of my old friends who still lived in the neighborhood and even to walk the streets again without fear like I had done as a child. In an odd sort of way, it was refreshing to be back in the old digs, listening to the conversations amongst my old friends, and the men and women on the streets. Unfortunately, people living there have a grim outlook, both on their chances for survival and their chances of getting out of the slums. They seemed despondent, with a lot of hopelessness and misguided focus.
I started reminiscing about my childhood and about how we, as kids, had so many dreams and plans for the future. Many of the friends I visited with today once wanted to be doctors, lawyers, actresses and business owners-one even wanted to be an astronaut. With the exception of a few of us, the rest never realized their dreams. Many died before they graduated from high school. Those who didn't, well, let's just say their bodies are here, but their souls died years ago.
I started thinking about a song by the rapper Nas, Black Zombie, as it reminded me of the mental state of the kids I passed in the streets that day and of the friends I had known since childhood. I suppose it's understandable that positiveness is in short supply, considering that the unemployment rate is high, black-on-black crime remains rampant and our people seem to have no vision or direction. I wonder what will become of our youth. Clearly, the problem is systemic and not limited to Walnut Park or St. Louis. I can go to any slum in the North, South or on the East, Central or West coasts and see the same condition. People seem unable to grasp control of their future, stand with strength and refuse to fail. Such hopelessness clearly illustrates how attitudes and perceptions determine a person's success or failure.
I want you to realize that throughout your life, you will encounter people who appear to have everything: wealth, a successful career, a luxurious home, a supportive spouse and adoring kids. You will ask yourself the same questions everyone asks: is it family background, inherited wealth, education, or simply luck? Or is success predetermined by nature? While I do believe these factors play some role, I believe the greatest factor is a person's attitude, in perception of and response to life.
In fact, I've come to realize that attitude is more important than your past, your birth order, your family circumstances, your education and your socioeconomic status. To me, attitude is the greatest equalizer, and it can make or break a company, a career, a marriage, or you. I acknowledge that you cannot change your past, your race, the family you were born into or how people behave toward you. You simply have no control over these things. However, the one thing you can change and control is your attitude in how you see yourself, the world around you and the circumstances you encounter.
People often question how two kids born into a bad situation, with the same parents and who are raised similarly, turn out differently. For me, there's a simple explanation. Two people, everything else being equal, can have different reactions to the same set of stimuli (in this case, the stimuli are environment and family circumstances). It all comes down to perception and attitude. At the end of the day, I believe your attitude matters more than anything else.
Some people adjust to difficult circumstances, while others totally reject them. Those who adjust allow the poor family circumstances and environment to destroy their beliefs, hopes, desires and dreams. Those who reject it use the circumstances and environment to propel themselves to greater heights. In the end, attitude and perception are the biggest differences.
Only you can control whether you see the glass as half empty or half full. Only you control whether you see America as a land of opportunity or as a country designed to make African-Americans fail . . . whether you see the world as giving you a hand up or a hand down . . .whether you see a world full of racists or full of nice people.
While I want you to look at life realistically, racism does exist, after all. I want you to understand the role your attitude plays in determining your response to situations. This is true no matter what the world throws at you, no matter how much you think the world is against you (and at times you will think this), and no matter how much you question the opportunities in this world for African-American men or African-Americans in general.
If you ever lose your way, remember these two things: (1) You come from the birthplace of kings and queens, and no one can ever take that from you. (2) Your reality is based on your perception, so if necessary, change your perception. Find the lesson in whatever ails you, adjust your attitude and keep forging ahead. In the end, I say, choose to see the beauty of life or forever stay among the walking dead. Love Mummy, Your Guardian Angel
